小妮子小日記

終於在網樂通看了它～

看之前只知道是Broadway音樂劇改編、莫文蔚有演過，and that's it
一直以為它是類似Friends那種都會喜劇類型，很lag地斷斷續續看了十分鐘後，它顯然不是XD

i have to admit that我對同性戀的立場一向「外在開放，內在保守」
meaning: 在神研班提到的時候，我會引用梁牧師的說法—「當我們還不確定成因是先天、後天or both，不要扮演上帝的角色來定罪同性戀」，或是像今年，在一切討論還沒開始之前先下手為強—把「認識我們的差異」其中關於所多瑪經文的那一段念給大家聽。On the other hand, 我內心卻覺得就生理構造而言，it's not ok. 

大二的時候，我第一次站在敞開的衣櫃前面。那晚我們相談甚歡，他像大哥哥一樣講笑話、講故事給我聽。然後，我不自覺發散的「吐真劑」讓他娓娓道出自己的true identity。或許，我在那一刻的前兩小時莫名地取得了他的信任。或許，充滿歡笑的兩小時was meant to讓我在輕鬆自在的情況之下接收這件消息。或許，他根本沒有表面上看起來那麼泰然自若，其實內心對於我將呈現的反應感到無比緊張。無論如何，我感受到他的信任及緊張，這二者讓我坦然接受who he is。他發給我的VIP卡顯示這件事對他而言有多重要，而我漸漸明白the gravity of this thing. 我壓根都沒想過要拒絕往來或什麼的，但我內在的掙扎及困境卻始終沒有消失。

however, 十年以後，當我用桌上一團又一團的衛生紙看完RENT，i come to realize that love is love. The pain of losing love and loved ones is all the same. 雖然以前就常聽到，但是這次終於感受到了。我不知道要如何解釋一份人工的劇本為何比真實的故事更有感動力，也許只是時候到了、故事對了、情境適合了，perhaps all.

i'm not saying that my struggle has miraculously disappeared, but i'm sure that this journey will continue and i won't be the same. （好「信仰告白」的語言...>///<）

來聽聽餘音繞樑不願離開的片頭曲吧～

Seasons Of Love

COMPANY
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments So Dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?
In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife

In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life

How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love

Seasons Of Love
Seasons Of Love

SOLOIST #1
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Journeys To Plan


Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A Man?

SOLOIST #2
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died

ALL
It's Time Now - To Sing Out
Tho' The Story Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends

Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Measure In Love

SOLOIST #1
Measure, Measure Your Life In Love

Seasons Of Love...
Seasons Of Love